So I read Twilight…

SPOILERS AHEAD – Not sure if anybody cares though.

this is ridiculously clever

Twilight. Possibly the most ridiculed and hated book in the history of ridicule and hatred. Disagree? Here’s what I found when I Googled “Twilight memes”

Not gonna lie, that Eggward one cracked me up. Geddit? cracked?

In fact, it’s become a problem. If anyone says they like Twilight, their opinion on everything becomes trash. How did this book become so…detested? So…loathed? So…hated? (Let’s pretend all 3 words don’t mean the same thing at all…)

I mean, as far as I could read, the first book wasn’t that bad. Yes. I said it. It’s bad, but not the worst book ever written by a human… That record belongs to KotLC

Sure, you could argue that there’s virtually no plot till the last third, Edward’s “love” for Bella borders obsession, Isabella Swan is a Mary Sue and the writing drips with purple prose; but it’s a cheesy YA novel whose main demographic consists of 14 year old girls (and some moms). For that, I’m pretty sure that many more novels beat Twilight to the highly coveted This Book Is Trash Award.

I personally believe in seperating art from the artist. Granted, sometimes it becomes incredibly hard (looking at you, J.K) but that’s what I believe. That’s probably why I was most horrified when I read Twilight 1 star reviews. Most people have a… (poor is putting it mildly) impression of Stephanie Meyer. There were TONS of hate comments about her. There ARE tons of hate, still.

This post is definitely not a defense of Twilight in any way – I had rock-bottom expectations and they were met. But I don’t think it deserves worldwide scorn. I don’t think the author should be painted “crazy” or “mental” just because the book was sub-par. I don’t think any book deserves worldwide ridicule.

So yeah. That was…something.

As for my thoughts about the book, where can I start?

Highly pretty, adorably clumsy and extremely mature Isabella Swan is facing a dilemma – the high-schooler she is utterly and irrevocably in love with is 103 years old. And a vampire. Who sparkles in the sunlight.

Ohhhh dear. I found Bella’s dependence on Edward infuriating. She can’t seem to breathe without needing Edward by her side 24/7. It’s even worse as dude takes this mega seriously and decides to watch her sleep, because it’s FaScInAtInG and RoMaNtIc and not stalker-ish at all. πŸ™‚

Bella is a weak character and is a fantasized version of Meyer herself. Edward can go choke on his own sparkles. I’m not even going to talk about him in this “review” at all. Honestly, both of them deserve each other.

Here’s what an article on The Guardian said about Bella’s personality – a clumsy, selfish nincompoop with the charisma of a boiled potato (I’m totally using charisma of a boiled potato on somebody *maniacal laughter*)

With that, I end today’s post. May your day be filled with boiled potatoes and sparkly vampires! Wouldn’t hurt to throw in a couple werewolves as well!

33 thoughts on “So I read Twilight…

  1. I love your sense of humour, gal! The reviews are EXACTLY why I never got myself to watch/ read Twoght. The β€œhigh dependency” kind of romance you mentioned makes me cringe.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I read the first book years ago. It wasn’t HORRIBLE, but a large portion of the book was all about Bella obsessing over Edward and then all the action was confined to the last 50 pages. I wish the bad vampires had killed and eaten Bella.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. sPaRkLy VaMpIrEs

    I mean…I didn’t hate the book. But it was a lot to handle. The romance makes me wanna vomit…yet it was also intriguing…hmmmm.

    I will say that I related to Bella(only a tiny bit,) so I didn’t hate her as much as everyone else.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Gosh, if you think Bella’s dependence on Edward is bad in this one, wait till you get to the sequels 🀣 And oh boy, the stalking! Reading it from Edward’s perspective in Midnight Sun made it even worse, if possible πŸ˜… But – I absolutely ate these books up as a teenager, despite always thinking Bella and Edward’s relationship was horribly toxic. There’s just something about the way they’re written that sucks you in, and I have an oddly nostalgic attachment to them πŸ˜‚
    (Oh, and your egg jokes cracked me up, too! 😁)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yikes. I wasn’t planning to read the sequels, and I’m not sure I ever will. (I tried the 2nd one and dnfed after a quarter into it) Ha, nostalgia always makes things sweeter!
      Glad to hear, Naemi!πŸ˜‚ Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! ❀️

      (Psst : I posted a Q and A and Part 3 of the Element(al)s. I’m not sure if you read them, but seeing as you were in a hiatus, I decided to inform)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Moi, The egg joke… XD
    I read Twilight years and years ago, when I was a pre-teen (I am 6191028 now), and I don’t remember hating the book. BuT, It DiDn’t StIcK wITh mE…
    Fun (and funny) post, Moi!
    May your day be filled with boiled potatoes and sparkly vampires as well!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Okay, I 100% agreed with EVERYTHING you said πŸ˜‚ I Cant figure out if you like Twilight, or you don’t though! I am EXACTLY the same! It’s so weird 😝 Twilight definitely gets better at the end though πŸ˜„

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I read these books in high school, and for the most part liked them. But when I saw the movies, everything was ruined for me. I think it was actually seeing the obsession on screen that made it click for me how obsessive Edward and Jacob were in the series.

    When I think about it now, since it’s been a long time since I’ve read or seen Twilight, I think it was Edwards siblings that I liked the most in the series.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Huh, that’s an unpopular opinion if I ever knew one… Good for you though, Maya! YES. I know, right! The whole series is just a montage of everyone worshipping Sophie. Ugh.

      Memes are the best things ever aren’t they? πŸ˜‚ Thanks Maya! ❀️

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh my gosh!!! This is so funny!!!πŸ˜…πŸ˜…
    I watched all the Twilight movies and to me, it was like one of those things that are so bad you just can’t look away.
    I didn’t like the way Bella relied heavily on Edward, and absolutely hated Edward’s obsessive protection of her.

    Liked by 2 people

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