“Life isn’t worth living anymore. Moi broke my heart in her latest post…Oh, moonlit seaaa, take meeeeeee!!” Shrieked a young woman who threw herself into the waves dramatically. Earth screamed in horror, shaking Water as hard as she could. “AHHHH, NO! DON’T KILL HER!” Water rolled his eyes and calmed down an almost hyperventilating Earth. “Relax, as if I’m gonna let her die…”
“Uh, I hate to break it to ya, but you’re kinda infamous for it?” Air quipped unhelpfully, making Earth scream hysterically again. Water sighed and smiled smugly as Air, his mouth a perfect O, watched the waves recede, making the woman fall onto the sand. “Wha-You just-I-She’s- You…spared her?” Fire sputtered out, visibly perplexed, making Water grin even more. “It’s no fun if she wants to die…” Water muttered.
“May-maybe we sh-should go check on her?” Earth sniffed, clinging onto Fire. “Mm, I think she’d be better off without us, honestly. Besides, this is a comedy series. Moi won’t let anyone die!” Air said, waving off her suggestion. “See, the other humans are checking up on her right now. We should maybe get outta here. ASAP.” “Last one to the café’s buying!” Fire called back, racing ahead of Air. (Fire ended up paying at the end. She kept getting distracted watching fireworks.)
Earth was in no hurry to go back to the café and walked slowly, occasionally glancing back at the woman. “I didn’t think she was gonna survive, honestly.” Water looked away. “I told you, I don’t go around killing around random humans.” Earth laughed sourly. “I thought you were known for doing exactly that?” Water smiled back at her. “I thought so too…”
“It’s another bee-yootiful day here at Tiny Town!” boomed Fire, waking up a disgruntled Water. “Shush, go back to sleep.” Earth woke up mechanically, stretching as she yawned. “It’s almost dawn guys, we’ve been sleeping for far too long.”
Water yawned again, merging with the waves so Fire couldn’t touch him. “It’s too early, let me be…” He opened his eyes to see if Air would back him up and found out that he was still snoring. Water glared at a sleeping Air, suddenly feeling wide awake and let a massive wave splash onto him. “Whazzat?” Air stumbled up, still groggy.
Frowning a little, Water addressed him. “I’m truly sorry about that, Air. But don’t be mad at me, I just wanted to stop you from wasting more time sleeping. Beautiful morning and all that, see?”
Fire stared at the horizon for so long she made Water squirm. “What?” He asked her after a few minutes. Fire shook her head, still squinting at the sky. “Nothing, it’s just that I’m not used to this view of sunrises. It’s weird. Beautiful, but weird.” Earth blinked, looking blank. “Huh, I never thought about that.”
“Sure cool, but what are we gonna do now?” Air asked them. Fire lit up, grinning. “You know, I just heard they reconstructed that library I burnt down! Maybe we should go pay them a vis-” Earth glanced at her to see if she was serious. “Haha, no. I’m not letting you commit arson again. We’re only gonna go to places that cannot catch fire.”
“Ugh, fine. You’re no fun.”
“Hey, don’t blame me! I’m just looking out for yourprecious humans.”
“Stop calling them my humans, Earth.”
Earth glanced around at Water and Air for help. Air was too busy chatting with a turtle to respond and Water just laughed at her. “I honestly don’t care.” Earth narrowed her eyes. “Bah, the next time you ask me for help, I swear, I’ll-”
Fire must’ve really wanted to go to this library, because she promised Earth she wouldn’t pester Earth about Phoenixes again. Earth agreed begrudgingly. “Yay!” Fire twirled around, practically sparkling. (Wait, was she actually sparkling?)
“What’s so special about this library anyway?” Air asked her, looking as excited as Water was when he learnt that lifeboats were a thing. (Water hated lifeboats with a passion. Those accursed humans and their stupid life saving measures! He could’ve killed triple the number of humans if they hadn’t invented those boats from hell.)
“Well, I’m not sure if you know, Air; but this library is the biggest in the world. And maybe even the oldest…”
“Ooh, but I thought the Al-Qarawiyyin library was in Morocco? And I’m pretty sure the largest library is The Library of Congress in the US?”
“Wha-? You really need to update your news source, Air. The last time I checked, the library of the University of Fakeford was the oldest and the largest library.”
Earth cocked her head. “And it’s right here in this ghost of a town?” Fire nodded with glee. “I know, right! It’s so exciting!!” Water laughed. “Don’t tell me the library that went down in flames was this one!”
Fire looked down, a little embarrassed. “Maybe it was…”
“Wow, yikes. I was joking when I said this town’s on fire..”
Air shook his head. “Wait, when was this library built again?” Fire blinked. “Uhhh, in 2021, I think.” Earth whistled. “Wow, it is old, isn’t it?” Air looked at her to see if she was being serious. “Um, I don’t think- Maybe this isn’t the oldes-”
Water shrugged at him, shooting him a don’t-burst-her-bubble look. Air sighed. “Well, to the Fakeford library we go, I guess!”
Eyy, Fakeford’s back again! It was the university I graduated from, so I have a lot of good memories there. It’s super great, to be honest. 10/10.
Anyway, how did you guys like this post? And yes, as Air said, the woman lives solely because of the fact that this is a comedy series. Good job, Air. (I need more tape for the fourth wall. I dunno, it’s getting weaker and people are breaking out of it by the second)
Well, I’ll see you guys soon!